For 19 years I had an orange tabby, known formally as Fridtjof den dristige*, who defended our territory as only an orange tabby can. Orange tabbies have a reputation as loving pets and fierce fighters. Fridtjof’s veterinary records resembled a rap sheet. At least once a year I’d bring him in for antibiotics for an infected battle wound. The vet would shave his forehead and clean the wound, and Fridtjof would bear the mark of Cain until the fur grew back. Unfortunately he never learned to choose his battles.
In work and in life it’s important to learn how to choose your battles. If you fight everything and everyone you disagree with, you’ll wear yourself out. You’ll also alienate people who might have been your allies. On the other hand, if you go along with everything you’ll lose your self respect. Choosing your battles helps you be more effective.
When you’re in charge
As a young professor I learned to have as few rules as possible—the minimum necessary to maintain order. You can count on having at least one student who will turn every rule into a battle. You’ll either have to enforce it strictly or lose all credibility. If you’re not willing to die on that particular hill, don’t have a rule about it.
We’ve all seen the construction manager or engineer who won’t bend on anything. Usually that means that they don’t know what’s important, so they rigidly insist on conformance with every detail. It’s so much better to deal with someone who knows what matters. You can reason with them to make sure everyone gets what they need, and the project goes a lot more smoothly.
We had a client like that when developing a concrete mixture for repairing a marine structure in New England. The specification was necessarily very detailed, and some of the provisions conflicted with others. Because they were so knowledgeable, we were able to reason with them, providing the data to back up our arguments. They got everything they needed even when it didn’t quite match the specification.
*Fridtjof the Bold. I named him after Fridtjof Nansen, the Norwegian explorer and diplomat, because as a kitten he was always checking things out. Diplomacy was never his strong suit.